What is a slow burn? Shows, movies & books that simmer slowly

Paige Allen|2024.10.25

What do Luke and Lorelai from “Gilmore Girls,” Nick and Jess from “New Girl,” and Jake and Amy from “Brooklyn 99” all have in common (well, apart from being fan-favorite couples)? Yup, you guessed it: all three of these iconic relationships are slow burn romances. From the moment they stepped on our screens we knew the chemistry was there, but it took entire seasons before they got together (and sometimes even longer to get together and stay together).

So what is it that makes us love the slow burn trope in movies, TV shows, and books? Let’s get into it!

Fair warning: With these love stories, the joy is in the journey, not the destination. While there will (eventually) be a happily ever after, it’s going to take time (not to mention a few twists and turns) to get there. But when they finally—finally!!—confess their true feelings and the sparks fly…watch out! After all that smoldering, when a slow burn romance finally catches fire, it burns hot and it burns bright. So hold on tight and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster (it’s worth it, I promise!).

What is a slow burn romance?

What qualifies as a slow burn is hotly debated (I’ll get into that later) but the basic premise is that the connection between the main characters builds slowly over time. There is no love at first sight or instant romance that’s sweet in books but has us rolling our eyes in real life.

In standalone romance books or movies, this trope manifests as the characters having that “aha!” moment toward the end of the storyline. But in book series or TV shows, the slow burn romance can smolder for ages (I mean, Luke and Lorelai didn’t even kiss until the very end of season 4!) making it that much more satisfying when the characters finally decide to give things a shot.

What qualifies as a slow burn romance?

I’m so glad you asked! The answer to this is complicated and based on personal preference. The general rule of thumb for a slow burn romance is that the characters aren’t going to get together until at least 75% of the way through the plotline. That means that three-quarters of the story is dedicated to the build up alone.

With so much time dedicated to the pining, angst, and anticipation, fans are on the edge of their seats waiting for the pieces to fall into place. You may even find yourself hollering at your Kindle or shouting at your TV, urging these characters to just figure it out already! As the audience, we know the characters are meant to be—we just need them to hurry up and figure it out too.

Does that seem emotionally exhausting and perhaps a touch unnecessary? Maybe. But once you’ve experienced the rush of your favorite characters finally getting together for the first time after all that build up, you’ll understand the hype!

For some, a slow burn relationship isn’t a slow burn if it’s not dragged out. Those fans would argue that it should take multiple books in a series (or seasons of a TV show) for the characters to finally find their way together. Think Ron and Hermione getting together in the final Harry Potter books/movies, or Jim and Pam finally acknowledging their feelings after three seasons of “The Office.” You can see the writing on the wall from day one but you’re going to have to wait years for the payoff.

In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if the couple gets together at the end or somewhere in the middle. If their love story is filled with “will they or won’t they” moments that make you feel like you’re teetering on the tip of a knife, that’s a slow burn!

Why we love a slow burn romance

What is it that makes a slow burn romance so insanely good?

The rollercoaster of emotion

One of the key elements of a good slow burn is the absolute rollercoaster of emotion these love stories take us on (just because it takes a while to get to the payoff doesn’t mean it’s boring!). Romance novel plotlines can be a touch predictable (we all know it’s going to end in a happy ending, that’s why we consume them!) but with a good slow burn romance, the real reward isn’t in the end destination but the long, winding road to get there.

And while most slow burns end in a happily ever after, there’s the occasional love story that just doesn’t work out, like Haley and Andy from “Modern Family.” Even though they didn’t get together in the end, their will-they-won’t-they relationship had people tuning in week after week. Fans are still debating if they should have been endgame years after the show ended!

The characters and character development

Ben-and-Leslie-from-Parks-and-Recreation

With a slow burner, we get to really know the characters. As readers/viewers, we get so invested in the characters because we take the journey with them.

We get to struggle alongside them in real time while they sort out their feelings. When they question and wonder if a romantic relationship would ever work (or ever even happen), we question and wonder along with them. When they pine, we pine.

And with so much time spent with them, often over the course of months or years, we get a front row seat to how these characters develop and grow. I mean, when we first met Ben on “Parks and Recreation,” he was the evil guy trying to suck all the fun and joy out of Pawnee. By the end of the series, he was half of one of TV’s most beloved couples and a pillar of the show. That’s the beauty of the slow burn—it’s impossible not to fall in love with them and root for their happy endings.

The chemistry

Janine-and-Gregory-from-Abbott-Elementary

Slow burns are not for the faint of heart: They are an investment of time, love, and patience. Fans of slow burn couples are tortured and kept on edge for ages.

So why don’t they give up and find a less angsty romance?

Because the chemistry between the love interests is just too good to look away from. Just think—If we had given up when the going got tough, we would have missed Janine and Gregory getting together after three whole seasons of “Abbott Elementary!”

From the moment they meet, the chemistry is electric and it’s impossible to turn away. Any interaction could be it, the moment when they finally give in to what they’ve been fighting for so long. There’s no way fans are going to turn away from that anticipation!

Which brings us to…

The Big Moment

This is what we’ve all been waiting for: After months or years of tension and close calls, the main characters finally, finally get together. Think Harry running through the streets on New Year's Eve to get to Sally in “When Harry Met Sally” or when Mr. Darcy finally confesses his love to Elizabeth in “Pride and Prejudice.”

Sometimes this manifests as a big, elaborate speech or gesture, where one of the characters confesses to all those pent-up feelings (a personal favorite of mine!). Other times the characters just can’t take the tension anymore and snap.

No matter how it plays out, the big moment is raw, real, messy, sweet and everything we fans deserve after having silently (or not so silently…I’ve been known to yell at my Kindle at times) cheering them on from afar. Their giddiness and relief at finally getting together bleeds through the pages and you can feel it. There’s nothing better!

The slow burn trope also pairs incredibly well with other tropes, especially friends-to-lovers and second chance romance. This trope also works really well paired with a dual timeline format, where parts of the story are told in the present day and parts flashback to the past. This helps fans get an even deeper understanding of the characters’ relationship and is a great way to tack on a little more time for yearning and pining in a creative way.