We get it. There are so many amazing romantic tropes out there—enemies to lovers, forbidden love, marriage of convenience...the list goes on. But there’s just something about a friends-to-lovers romance that hits differently. Maybe it’s the magic of seeing someone you’ve known for years in a different light, the pining and angst that comes until the feelings are mutual, or the thrill of risking it all for love.
So, let’s explore. What makes the friends-to-lovers trope so dang irresistible?
Why we love the friends-to-lovers trope
There are so many reasons to be obsessed with the friends-to-lovers trope, but there are three things that stand out amongst the rest.
Irresistible slow burn
The first is the slow burn. While other tropes may be fast and fiery when it comes to passion, friends to lovers is a trope that’s drawn out slowly. People who have known each other for years as just friends don’t fall in love overnight. It takes time for those long-held friendships to bloom into something more.
There’s pining, missed connections, and even unrequited love. It’s also common that one person falls first and waits for the other to see them in a romantic way. Slow and steady gets the couple to the happily-ever-after finish line with this trope!
Nail-biting high stakes
Another feature of friends to lovers is the high stakes. While the stakes may not be something intense like life or death or the fall of a kingdom, falling for your friend can come with its own risks. What if things go wrong? What if they break up and can’t go back to being friends? What if they’re part of a friend group and things become awkward for everyone?
While a newfound attraction is thrilling, there’s also the fear of losing the friendship, the stress of potential heartbreak, and the courage it takes to confront these feelings. It may be hard on the characters, but the stakes create tension and conflict we can’t help but love.
Strong built-in friendship
And speaking of that beloved relationship, a built-in friendship is the best foundation for romantic love! There’s already an established connection and history, mutual respect and trust, and genuine care for the other person and their happiness.
Those things can definitely develop with a stranger, but knowing it already exists creates even better odds for that happy ending.
The best of best friends to lovers
Because friends to lovers is so enticing, it’s no surprise that the trope has been used time and time again in pop culture. And we’ll never get enough!
“Bridgerton” fans will see it displayed in the show’s third season. For years, Penelope was secretly in love with Colin. And it’s only when a third person enters the picture and he finds himself in a love triangle that Colin begins to see his good friend in a new light. With the tables are turned, he becomes the one pining. One steamy carriage ride later, and their friendship is forever changed. Goodbye unrequited love, hello happily ever after.
“Friends” is another show that famously featured the trope. Both Ross and Rachel and Monica and Chandler went from friends to lovers, but Monica and Chandler’s pairing was just a little more slow burn and exciting. The two tried to keep their relationship a secret from the rest of the friend group, making every long glance, late-night phone call, and innocent touch all the more illicit and thrilling.
As for movies, “When Harry Met Sally” is the unofficial friends-to-lovers blueprint. Acquaintances turned ride-or-die best friends who see each other through the highs and lows of other relationships, only to fall for each other when Harry comforts Sally after her latest breakup? Iconic. The scene of him running to reach her before midnight should go down in the Friends-to-Lovers Hall of Fame.
But “13 Going on 30” is a more recent classic that deserves a mention. Two childhood best friends who live next door to each other grow distant, only to be reunited over 15 years later. Not only do they pick back up where they left off, they explore their growing feelings over a shared pack of Razzles. Swoon!
Emily Henry’s “People We Meet on Vacation” and Christina Lauren’s “Love and Other Words” are some of TikTok’s favorite friends-to-lovers romance books. They both follow pairs of friends who were thick as thieves...until one of them declared their feelings. After some time and distance, they find themselves in each other’s lives once more and fate gives them a second chance at love. The pining, the heartbreak, the all-consuming love—it’s easy to see why this trope has so many fans.
Feel out the friends-to-lovers trope
Looking to dive into some friends-to-lovers stories but not sure where to start? These original spicy romance audiobooks from Dipsea will give you all the vibes.
“Keeping Score” follows Will and Alyssa, two childhood friends who reunite after years apart. Will is now the rising star of the Detroit Pistons, while Alyssa is the new PR lead for the team. Scoring a second chance at love could be a slam dunk...or spell trouble for their new careers.
“Close Companion” is like “Bridgerton,” but make it queer. Set in the Regency era, the love story follows Charlotte and Willa, two young women who have no desire to enter into society and find husbands. When they’re paired for a painting class, their friendship begins to color outside the lines.
For a fake relationship and friends-to-lovers combo, check out “Plus One” (starring Grey’s Anatomy’s E.R. Fightmaster!). When her ex gets married, Eva taps her friend Jay to be her date. Their roleplaying takes an unexpected turn at the rehearsal dinner, forcing them to look at their friendship with new eyes.
From friend zone to end zone
When it comes to romance, there are so many tropes to choose from. And TBH, we love them all. But there’s just something about the friends-to-lovers trope that’s extra special.
Whether it’s the butterflies of mutual attraction or the fear of jeopardizing a cherished friendship, these stories remind us that love can often spring up from the most unexpected places...and have the most heartwarming happy endings.
For even more friends-to-lovers storylines, be sure to sign up for a free 30-day trial of Dipsea. The stories are steamy, the voices hot, and the sound design is like HBO for your ears.
Or download the Dipsea app for the best listening experience.
